“In the world of Earthsea, True Names are sacred, holding incredible and transformative power. To know your True Name is to know yourself. And to share your True Name is an extreme act of vulnerability and courage.”
This quote from Worry Bead Record’s description of “True Names” is a collection of songs made as odes to a period awkward for all, yet especially confusing and frightening for the trans youth of today. All profits from the album’s sales upon release will go towards the Trans Youth Emergency Project, which provides material support to these brave kids by helping them find healthcare providers and travel to appointments, as well as paying for crucial medication. While normally I tend to review albums track by track, this album features a single from 18 different artists and groups spread across different genres to craft the constellation of shaky yet self-certain youth that speaks even to the hearts of trans adults like myself—As such, I would like to select my favorites to gush over. (Note: I will be referring to artists and vocalists with they/them pronouns out of not knowing the pronouns of each artist and vocalist, please bear with me.)
The very first track, Pink Navel’s “interview (angel of youth)” hits a particular soft spot of mine by switching off from folksy singing in its first half to impassioned and pointed rap for the latter half. A certain clumsiness invoked by the rhythms in the track’s first half speaks to the awkward years the vocalist mentions looking back on to surmise some words of wisdom for “the angels of youth” to find hope in. A few lyrics hint at their own anxiety still bubbling within them, wishing to fly far away into space or go back in time when effectively put on the spot. The vocalist’s flow in the latter half of the song is comparatively tight and adaptable, conveying the struggles the artist still endures to even come to the point where they’re being interviewed about an album. Of course, even as our vocalist displays the mastery of their craft, we come back to the same anxious and exhausted lament:
“I just wanna go to space, dawg, this shit is lame”
My favorite verse from this track is: “Rumor has it, rumor has it the,/the sun begat my worth, and the worth begat the work?”.
Moving on quickly to my next favorite track, King’s Evil’s “Villain Story”. Opening on snappy drums and a grainy, funky guitar riff, King’s Evil illustrates the effect of manipulation by a toxic friend or family member; the following lines:
“How many things do I say in a day?/Let’s start with ‘I’/’I think’, ‘I need’, ‘I hope’, ‘I know’, ‘I love you’/Am I just a selfish kind of guy?”
…hint at the internalization of an unnamed other’s twisting of the singer’s communications to be unduly selfish simply by use of the pronoun “I”. This is a feeling many have come to know, including myself, of being vilified for setting boundaries. It is a bitter feeling, and though it may have been for one’s good, the bitterness has a tendency to linger.
My personal favorite verse from this track is: “I shrugged and watched you walk away, walk away”.
The next track I’ll cover immediately follows the last: “Cut Fruit” by Remember Sports (recorded live in Montreal) hits all the marks for a punk classic in instrumentation and sound: A brash vocalist carried by screeching, powerful electric guitar and thumping, rolling drums. The lyrics speak of self-hatred, specifically a regret over opening up to someone else and the self-reprimands that naturally follow. Through vivid and brutally exposing descriptive language, the vocalist compares the spilling of their secrets to the spilling of their guts like “cut fruit”. Remember Sports brings the cathartic pain with this raw, angered sadness screamed out of a hoarse throat.
My favorite verse from this track is: “Slap me in the face again/It feels so good to be dead/I’m breaking up with myself”.
Following this, Really Great’s “To Be With You” starts right away with an upbeat sound jarringly contrasted by disconnected lyrics. I have a fondness for these sorts of songs that deceive me with a light and “happy” sound while hiding agony and vulnerability within their text. The vocalist’s life has been given meaning by their love, taking them from an isolated life to one driven by a determination unparalleled.
“I would travel ‘cross the country just to sit around with you”
Through even disaster, the vocalist longs to be with their love, even in their lover’s thoughts, as the end of the world feels nigh. Even through the deepest depths of the vocalist’s depression, their love keeps them tethered to this world. This is something I can especially relate to. With a toe-tapping sound and heart-wrenching lyrics, Great matches the consistent theme throughout the love songs on this album of a willingness to risk it all for the one whose touch and words imbue you with a will to carry on.
My favorite verse from this track is: “I’m losing sleep a lot these days,/but I’ll still dream/of the next time that I get to be with you”.
My next favorite track, Trash Girl’s “Wind is Shaking”, is a slow, somber, and cold number that opens on a fuzzy electric organ and celesta. Our vocalist quietly illustrates a cloudy day bereft of their love; while short and sweet, the numbing empathy evoked by this quiet lament is potent enough to stick with you for the remainder of the album’s duration. Tender harmony and a choir synth elevate this track to something almost liturgical, and through this sound shows a reverence akin to an acolyte’s.
This genuine, haunting cry of loneliness strikes at the heart and leaves one’s soul tender and needy in the best of ways.
My favorite verse from this track is: “Cloudy day, here/Having you near/Is the most that I could want”.
To close out my special features, we move to (T-T)b, bringing us “Sugar in the Raw” (demo version). Opening with a delightful synth flute motif, (T-T)b’s vocalist expresses hesitance in the face of infatuation. This is something else I find relatable. There is a certain fear of love after being hurt in romance before, a natural hesitance to risk hurting; even without the experience of having been hurt before, the passive observation of the myriad ways love can go wrong can make the prospect daunting to those who may feel they “already deal with enough”. Some may even find themselves fundamentally “broken” and thus unlovable, making the spark of falling in love a threat to self-immolate from within. As the song goes on, the vocalist expresses their disappointment in themselves for falling back into self-isolating habits out of fear, doubting they can ever stop themselves from keeping the vicious cycle turning. They even confirm that their fear comes from experience:
“That year, the fear of fucking up my life,/it finds me shuttered up inside/the second time this life, God damn it”
On this track, (T-T)b captures something that held back or holds back not only me but many of my single friends who have been hurt before: Fear and self-loathing. It feels as if it is no coincidence that this phenomenon shows itself more predominantly among the marginalized of society, who are implicitly denied worth and self-esteem through the systems in power. Tracks such as “Sugar in the Raw” express the frustration that comes with this phenomenon spectacularly in a track that carefully toes the line between powerful electric bass/guitar and soft, melancholic synth.
My favorite verse from this track is “Sugar in the raw,/Klaus Kinski was a vampire”.
These are only a select few tracks on an album with nearly twenty unique songs that cover the cornucopia of complex feelings brought about by the struggle to define oneself in an uncaring world. To circle back to the album’s title, the choice of inspiration in Ursula K. Le Guin’s “Earthsea” as an implicit recommendation to Worry Bead’s audience is a delightful ray of hope just as much as the implication of even the most mournful of tracks on this album: There exists a place for you in this world, no matter what that world tells you. The recommendation of a fantasy series that celebrates trans youth and trans life against the grain of the dominant magical fantasy series that either remain apathetic or outright hostile to trans existence offers the most slighted youth in our global culture something they can safely escape into, and the hidden implication of these songs whispers to its listeners: “I’ve been through the wringer, too, but I still made it far enough to tell you that”. “True Names” is an album that connects directly to the heart and begs those suffering in silence to be strong, to persevere, and perhaps one day they can marvel at their victory over those who would hold them down.
I want to, for a moment, come off my critic’s pedestal and relay a similar message to any trans youth reading this article to gauge whether the album is truly “for them”: It most certainly is for you. Each artist and group that contributed to this work made their contributions with you in the forefront of their mind, even if they sing of themselves. Worry Bead Records compiled this collection of anthems for you. Yes, you. And I would like to tell you the same thing eighteen artists and an independent record label from Queens are telling you:
You are strong enough to overcome. There will come a time when you sit comfortably, in a room with your loved ones and chosen family in your immediate grasp, and you will feel truly safe. It may seem far away now, but that time will come. I hope you come to experience and cherish that sensation very soon.
Written by Alexei Lee
