The Sneaky Heat Missiles’ newest album, Songs of Seduction and Swagger, is such a unique experience that it becomes almost impossible to describe. I love ska that takes everything you know about the genre and turns it on its head, and makes something that sounds different from what everyone else is doing. This is why I fell in love with Eichlers in 2022 and Grim Luck in 2024: Two albums that were just incredibly different from everything else. There have been a few other albums that were very unique, but I think those two stand out the most. Perhaps this album isn’t quite as unique as those first two, but it will definitely grab your attention.
If forced to describe it in a way that helps a reader understand, Songs of Seduction and Swagger is perhaps a lighthearted sci-fi influenced ska album that features a blend of David Bowie, early Fishbone, and perhaps Admiral Ackbar’s Dishonorable Discharge with microphone reverb and a sprinkle of klezmer. If you mix all of that into a pot and throw in the vibes of Hans Gruber and the Die Hards, you end up with something that resembles this album.
The album begins with an intro, a track featuring audio samples that sound like an intercepted radio broadcast from an alien ship surveying Earth. There is a slight drum beat under the track, and it ends with the question “Where is the Captain?” It immediately transitions to “Space Pirates from Outer Space”. The first thing you notice is the horns that dominate the intro, along with some sharp drums. But once the vocals come in, it feels very ’60s and ’70s sci-fi. The reverberated vocals with a backing vocal that matches the primary are somehow perfectly “off”, giving it a cool retro effect that fits the song’s vibe to a T. The song tells the story of space pirates partying on a dying planet, taking what they want as their resources deplete around them. It feels fun, retro-futuristic, and chaotic, and gives an air of being absurd while delivering multiple life lessons throughout the track.
The second full song on the album is “Ins and Outs”, and it shows why the album is called Songs of Seduction and Swagger. It’s an upbeat ska rhythm throughout the track, which is about the ins and outs of a relationship. There is definitely something to the vocal melody and tone: The vocals are chock full of swagger, and the chorus has a nice backing vocal that adds to the theme and overall aura of the track.
“Okay Days” feels like it could be the most successful song from the album. It has a little bit of funk to the song, and the vocals are phenomenal. The subject matter is about surviving, even as the number of bad days seems to be stacking up, and the good and OK days are fewer and further in between. But even with serious subject matter, there is still a reference to a ray gun and other little lyrical allusions to the sci-fi themes of the album. There are other themes to the song as well, which I’ll get back to later.
“Grizeldalina” has an epic introduction that begins with a call out for the titular heroine of the story before erupting in what could possibly be described as “space circus” music. The song is high space fantasy nonsense with no bearing on the real world. It feels like this is just a sci-fi nonsense song. It describes a powerful villain who has the means and ability to change the world for the better, but instead uses his powers to absorb and consolidate more and more power. In this weird sci-fi hellscape, the poor bow and kneel before the powerful villain, while others, the rich, envy his power and aspire to mimic him. In this obviously unrealistic, fantastical realm, they sell food with a poison that gets you sick, and the same people who make the poison sell the cure. In this world, you need money in order to survive, but the only way to get money is to spend the hours that you survive working and providing labor and profit for the rich, who then sell you the things you need in order to stay alive long enough to provide those rich with more labor. It’s an absurdist nightmare, and the chorus claims “Who needs bullets when you’ve got big money / Nothing to lose but the whole world to gain”. At the end of the song, our heroine Grizeldalina comes to save us with her missiles for fists. But this is just a fantasy, because Grizeldalina isn’t real.
The “Songs of Seduction” portion of the name kicks into high gear for the appropriately euphemistically named “Heavenly Bodies”, but the last song I want to discuss in detail is my favorite song from the album. Anyone who knows me or who has read enough of my reviews or follows my social media will know the subject I am probably most passionate about, and that is police violence.
“Don’t Trust a Copper” has the privilege of being my favorite song on this album, and it addresses several issues with police violence. The song tells the story of a police officer who fabricated evidence against a woman and then used his position of power in order to sexually assault her. In another verse, I’m not sure if it’s the same story or the same officer, but there is another case of an officer who knocked on a woman’s door and sexually assaulted her as well. The song tells stories of cops who blackmail women to see them naked, a cop who robs banks, cops who beat their wives and kids. The chorus of “Never trust a copper, because they’re never gonna trust in you” is great advice for everyone, and drives home the theme of the song.
And now, I’m going to hijack this review for a minute and talk about police violence.
First, in the United States, around 30 police officers per year are killed by suspects, and police kill over 1,200 people per year. So cops are 40 times more likely to kill someone than to be killed. But death is far from the only negative outcome, as this song points out. The stories in this song, I’m told, are all brief summaries of actual stories, and I’m going to add to those stories with other real stories.
In Kenbridge, Virginia, earlier this year, a woman whose ex-boyfriend was a police officer went to pick up their child from his house as they had shared custody. The officer had made threats to her earlier in the day. There had been years of alleged domestic violence, and the department knew about it, but pressured her not to file charges because it could cost him his job. She called the police chief — her ex’s boss — and requested an escort to pick up her child due to the threats. The chief said he didn’t want to get involved and refused an escort. When she hung up, the chief called the father and told him about the call. The father, an active police officer, came out of the house and shot her several times for getting the police involved. She survived. The officer was charged. She is suing the city, the department, and the chief for $144 million.
In December 2025, a Missouri police officer pleaded guilty to stealing nude images from the phones of women he pulled over. If they had insurance on their phone, he would take their phone back to their car, then he would look through their phone and steal their images, either texting them to himself and deleting the text, and sometimes taking pictures of their phone. He was only sentenced to two years for the 20 victims. There were reports that this is much more widespread, and this is only the first officer to get charged. Another officer was suspended in March of this year for the same thing.
In an ICE facility in Louisiana, an officer sexually abused a woman for months. The officer would provide access to the woman’s daughter, letters, pictures, and more in exchange for coerced sex. He was charged in January.
In just the first ten days of May 2026, a Delaware officer pleaded guilty to rape, a Secret Service officer was arrested for following a woman to her hotel room and masturbating at her hotel room door, and a Florida corrections officer was arrested for attempted sexual battery. Also, a Hawaiian police officer pulled over a woman, followed her to her hotel room, coerced her into sex, and used his position to try to undermine the investigation. A Tennessee Detention Deputy was arrested for sexually assaulting a male inmate, while a Texas detention officer sexually assaulted a child and posted the images online. A Texas officer was charged after he sexually assaulted a woman who called for help, while a school resource officer admitted to a sexual “relationship” with a minor student.
In my own life — I learned about this a couple of decades after it happened — my brother and three friends were pulled over in front of my parents’ house in the middle of the night. They had marijuana on them, and the car smelled like weed. The police officer pulled the girl out of the car and took her into his car, where, apparently, he threatened to arrest her and ruin her life (and everyone in the car) for drugs, traffic citations, and other things, but would drop all of the charges if she gave him oral sex.
Coerced sex is not consent. You CANNOT consent to sex with an on-duty police officer. They have power over you. There is always an implied power dynamic and a risk of rejection. Sexual assault by police is the absolute worst, not only because they are the people who are supposed to enforce the law, but because it undermines every woman who would otherwise file charges. Women already know that rapes are extremely rare to prosecute, and that rape kits go years and sometimes decades without getting tested, often surpassing statutes of limitations. If abusers are police, and if police protect abusers, who the fuck is left to report to?
All of the information about the cases that had been reported in the last week came from Rachelmlap on Instagram and Substack. She keeps a database and reports on gendered violence by police every single week. Please follow her.
OK, sorry for that extreme commentary, but it’s important to me that people understand why that song is so important to me, and why I appreciate The Sneaky Heat Missiles making a song about the issue.
The album, from front to back, is absolutely phenomenal and a creative masterpiece. It’s a themed sci-fi ska opera that touches on many relevant moral issues with crazy vocal melodies. This is an album I wouldn’t want anyone to miss. I beg you to pick this album up, or at least give it a stream or two, but before I go, there is one last message.
In “Okay Days”, the protagonist has his grip firmly on his ray gun, and later plans to permanently escape the planet they are on by getting on a silver spinning saucer in the sky. If you or any of the aliens in your life find that the okay days are coming too few and too far apart, and you are thinking of getting on that silver spinning saucer in the sky, remember that help is always available. In the United States, you can always call the 24-hour mental health crisis line, 9-8-8. The line is not without its flaws, but it’s still very important to keep you on this planet with us. If you live outside of the US, please look up your local services or contact a friend.
I love you all. Take a listen to Songs of Seduction and Swagger below.
Written by Gimp Leg
