Jan Esbra’s “To Call Home” was recently released as a teaser for its home album, “Keep Moving Forward, which is said to be Esbra’s “most personal work to date,” according to its Bandcamp page. Each track is said to have been written during “a period of transition, heartbreak, and self-discovery”; this gives us key context for the wandering melody and uncertain yet determined lyrics from this single release.
Esbra keeps the instrumentation of “To Call Home” simple: Vocals, acoustic guitar, and an understated drum kit to keep things moving, rhythmically speaking. The lyrics portray momentum through life as a blur that threatens to run out from beneath one’s feet like a rug being pulled:
Time speeds up things go by
green, blue, gray, all blend together
into a sea of motion
abstracting all emotion
from me
It’s as if the sudden rush from one place to the next can only be remembered as a split second in slow motion. In such a short span of time, even when analyzed for far longer than the act itself had transpired, there is no time to feel any sort of way about what is happening. There is no time to tell your surroundings apart from one another outside their vaguest shapes and colors, and when that rush finally slows, all the author and listener alike can do is stumble to regain our footing and keep searching aimlessly for home.
The composition of this piece gives the feeling of a determined upward climb despite these brief periods of discombobulation. Perhaps each day is spent miles apart, perhaps adjustment to a new environment can come far slower than we’d like, yet even so, time’s arrow marches only forward. The main riff is an optimistic yet aimless run, and though Esbra’s vocals can feel a bit clunky at times, it serves the overall “disorienting” effect of this piece well. I would say this track is a fine start for such a personal and autobiographical work as Esbra’s “Keep Moving Forward” is said to be—especially for a work meant to showcase the “immediacy of a major life upheaval”, as any major change to one’s life is bound to leave those most affected feeling a little punchy and confused after its first impact. I shall eagerly wait and see just how the rest of this five-track album will pan out come this time next month.
“To Call Home” is currently available for streaming and purchase on Bandcamp. “Keep Moving Forward” is scheduled for release on February 6th of this year.
Written by Alexei Lee
