If Ever–the first multi-track release by Adelaide’s Fever Dream–exists in a liminal space. Released in early January, the 6 track EP is introspective, earnest, and quietly ruminative even when it’s getting loud. Surfy guitar riffs and a warm, almost cozy bass tone form the foundation for a real musical mise en place: a gathering of elements that evoke a wistful nostalgia for the melancholy dreampop and reverby lo-fi indie that carried us into a brand new century. Think the Shins. Wavves. Dum Dum Girls. The Thermals. Galaxy 500.
At the same time Fever Dream are decidedly and completely themselves. Written during the early stages of songwriter and vocalist Freya Golding’s gender transition, the songs that make up If Ever are steeped in a hopeful uncertainty. On “Impersonations”, Golding sings about going through the motions of a relationship that’s past its expiration date. She works her way through the complex emotions of watching someone you love move on from you as you are simultaneously moving on from the person you have been:
I know you wouldn’t stay with me forever,
I won’t stay here too,
And I know you wouldn’t leave me over nothing,
I just gave you an excuse.
The entire EP is deeply personal without feeling overly navel-gazey, and Golding does a fantastic job of translating her singular experience into art that hits in a broadly relatable way. Her clear, punk-infused vocals (she’s got some of that Marc Bolan Liz Stokes je ne sais quois) play well with the fuzzy tape loops, the jangly layers of the guitars and the assertive, punctuated rhythms. She’s strong without being overpowering, soft without being lost in the mix.
On the track Was, she sings about the experience of feeling haunted by the person you used to be and the process of figuring out where that ghost fits into your life. The song is filled with perfectly poetic self-interrogations set to a happy-sad, danceable beat. It almost channels Dog On Wheels-era Belle and Sebastian (but with a little more edge) and feels like an effort to audit a life lived self-protectively. To add up the amount of time and love a person can waste when they wrap themselves in a protective armor of cynicism and apathy instead of opening themselves up to genuine connection.
Are you lonely now, and will the ghost you gave a home to ever leave you now.
If Ever is questioning, nostalgic, fearful, joyful, determined and uncertain all at once. A lovely little record of a changeable, transitional time with lyrics that stick in the back of your mind and roll around in a pleasant sort of way. You can find the EP on Fever Dream’s bandcamp, which is undoubtedly the best way to get it right now, considering…you know…EVERYTHING.
Written by Jenn Pellerin
