Just last week, I reviewed “Fake Happiness”, the first track from Against The Voices’ new EP HAPP-EP. But the themes of the record were so timely that I felt the need to write about the four other tracks as well. Think about it: How have you felt lately? If you say you’re good, then I’m giving you a suspicious look.
Because I say “I’m good”, but what I mean is, “The fear of nuclear war follows me around like a bad stench. I worry about money all the time, and no matter how hard I work, I never seem to make enough, and everything keeps getting more expensive. I can’t afford a house, and I’m afraid my landlord might decide to kick me out at any moment. These fears have made things that I used to enjoy quite boring, and I find myself paralyzed at my desk for hours at a time, wishing I could make a steady income off of screaming into the ether.”
Sorry, what was I talking about? Oh, right. This is a write-up of an EP, not the therapy appointments that I had to cancel because I couldn’t afford them. But these feelings came up because I had a deep connection with HAPP-EP, and once again I have to credit Nick Zimmerman and Gabriel Hart of Against The Voices for expertly couching these new, heartwrenching tracks in such inviting indie-pop warmth.
Emotions bubble up listening to these songs: Anguish over current events, struggling to mask anxiety to conform, burning out, and how to live and shape an identity that doesn’t feel false, even if the world commands the lie. But as I wrote in my review of “Fake Happiness”, sometimes it’s better to embrace and understand the sadness and the pain, because those emotions are what make us real and human. And to discard those emotions for the sake of other people, society, and corporate productivity would debase our humanity. Some may think that sounds like a good thing, and I feel awful for them.
And folks will say, “If you feel sad, just go on meds or get therapy, they help!” “One Pill, Two Pill, Red Pill, Blue Pill” addresses that quick-fix mindset, framing the struggle with mental health as being between a rock and a hard place. For one, it’s hard to address the need for help in a difficult financial situation (“I’m too broke to be broken, have too much hope to be hopeless / And honestly, in this economy…”). However, not spending the dough on help might make other daily matters worse (“I’ve got bills to pay / Don’t have time to convey just how much I’m drowning in every way”). And at the end of the day, the constant back-and-forth might cause one to wonder if their mental health struggle is performative, or if the medical-industrial complex has gaslit them into thinking they have mental health issues for the sake of Big Pharma profits.
Those intrusive thoughts come to light on “Pants On Fire”, a driving synth-powered track with emo vibes that chronicles a manic-depressive mental spiral. Going from the highest highs (“I’m never tired of being who I am / And everything about my life is exactly as I planned”) to the lowest lows (“Could slit my wrists, could hang my neck / Could drown in pills to drown regrets”), ultimately the song ends in defeatism, repeating the phrase “I can’t commit” to reflect the purgatory of coasting through life grappling with both sides of the emotional spectrum, wondering which side feels more like a lie.
“New Depression” reflects the themes of “Fake Happiness” and acts as the emotional core of the EP, tracing the experience of living with pain, even if the day-to-day means trading one form of pain for another (“I think I need a new depression / This one’s wearing out it’s welcome, this one’s wearing out its fashion / I’m not sad, just tired of being that.”) When listening to the song, I thought it felt very Catholic, although I don’t know the religious affiliations of Against The Voices and I myself do not practice Catholicism. But the song’s themes of daily suffering and reacting to pain feel like a confession and a search for some kind of healing. Perhaps that’s a more universal read on the faith than what it actually is, but “New Depression” feels like why people turn to religion, spirituality, or wellness regimens: They’re looking for the fix.
But there is no fix, really: “Bitter Suite”, the final track on the EP (and a play on words, with “suite” referring to a piece of music), addresses that no matter what, life has both light and dark, happiness and sadness, and it doesn’t bode well to dote on either one too hard. Addressing depression helps bring the real good feelings to light, and recognizing the darkness allows us to exercise self-control and temper ourselves down before we go too far off the deep end: “Bittersweet is what we are / So embrace the light, it’s part of the dark”).
There is no solution for how to live or how to address difficult emotions. Against The Voices doesn’t offer any suggestions on HAPP-EP, and that’s fine. In my experience, telling someone in a bad spot that “it’s going to be okay” or “they should try such-and-such” makes things worse. And when people have tried those same antics on me, I’ve shrunk even further into my own inner monologue. HAPP-EP is that monologue incarnate, looking to help those going through tough times to feel seen. And while your mileage may vary, it worked for yours truly. I don’t feel any better about life, but I sure don’t feel worse. And that’s probably about as good as it’s gonna get.
Take a listen to HAPP-EP and follow Against The Voices on their socials below.
Written by Will Sisskind
